Bailout Wars Review: The Peace Prize For This?

Gameloft released their comical castle defense game Bailout Wars for the iPhone, and in this game you play as the defender of the White House.

Bankers from all over the United States are invading the White House in hopes of receiving bailout money.  There are 5 different types of bankers from the simple, state bankers to the more powerful CEOs and other big and important positions.  There are also helicopters that strike from above, threatening to steal some of that moo-lah.

A game like this is not at all original as we’ve seen excellent castle defense games including Knights Onrush by Chillingo and StickWars from John Hartzog.  But not being original can be offset if the game improves upon many of its competitor’s flaws, a factor that is questionable in a game such as Bailout Wars.  Does it improve upon its competitors?  That is the question.


Artwork: Gameloft almost always produces some quality games with quality looks and quality design.  Bailout Wars is not an exception in this case, and while it is one of their budgeted titles, it’s still very well-designed.  I found that the game was very bright colored with some visually appealing animations, and I really liked all the different facial expressions shown by the different types of bankers.

Comical: I’m always up for a funny game whether it be Robocalypse or Worms (although the iPhone version was quite a disappointment).  Bailout Wars is just plain awesome when it comes to describing the political struggles the United States is having, and the idea for the game is absolutely fantastic.  I really liked the fact how they illustrated the bailout money situation, and Bailout Wars could be classified as a political drawing.

Stats: It’s really nice to see the long list of stats available in the game that takes some long minutes to scroll through all of them.  The stats don’t just include the total number of bankers killed, but it also includes the types of bankers you have killed, the most you killed in one game, and many other random stats that are interesting to know.  Bailout Wars probably has the most extensive stat list I have seen in an iPhone game.


Powerups: The powerups in this game are poor and few, and it’s not very appealing to see only 3 powerups to buy.  When games like Knights Onrush include rocks, altars, gates, and more, it’s really hard to compete with just 3 powerups.  I also didn’t feel like it was very forgiving when it came to replenishing your money supply, and it would have been more realistic if we were able to “heal” our bailout money.  But with only a sniper/rifleman, tank, and Uncle Sam as our powerups, it can definitely be seen that this game is lacking.

It’s The Same Thing: In Knights Onrush, you were given the privilege to progress through levels.  And while Knights Onrush was more or less the same thing over and over again, it was less repetitive and a little bit more varied.  There would be times in Knights Onrush when the dragon altar would not be available, causing you to not be able to earn any of the sacrifice points.

Bailout Wars has no variation whatsoever, and each play through is basically the same.  The game ramps up in difficulty pretty much the same every single time, and it’s just too repetitive.  You’ll play through the game maybe four or five times, but after a while, you’ll be tired of playing Bailout Wars.

Bailout Wars is good for those few minutes of pick-up-and-play, but it’s really not enough to compete with the elite.  I found Bailout Wars to be a little too basic, and the powerups were nowhere near the number of powerups that I prefer.  It’s fun for a little bit, but ultimately, it’ll start to bore you and have you screaming for something else.  Artwork is great and all, but in reality, looks aren’t everything.  It’s the inside that counts.


Bailout Wars was developed by Gameloft, and I played through version 1.1.4 on my iPhone 3GS.  The price is $0.99.



About Daniel

I have been an iPhone game addict ever since the NES emulator came out on the 1.1.4 iPhone 2G. After 2.0 and the App Store came out, my iPhone homescreen has never been the same. Other than writing reviews for App Store games, I play soccer/football, American football, volleyball, and golf. I love going to the beach and fishing on the pier. Some games not available on iPhone/iPod Touch that I truly love are the Call of Duty series, Guitar Hero III, Madden NFL 09, and PGR: Gotham Racing.

5 thoughts on “Bailout Wars Review: The Peace Prize For This?

  1. Wow, what a horrid review. Correct your facts, and mention that the BUsh administration was the one who wrote the initial bail-out package. ANd deregulated banking regluations in the first place.

  2. I don’t really want to get political on an iPhone gaming site, so I left the politics to a minimum. Let’s face it though, Obama is the one that bailed out Citi bank over and over again, and it’s clearly not working as Citi has been bailed out 2 to 3 times.

    General Motors was another company that Obama bailed out only to fail and be bailed out another one or two times.

    Anyways… my review was geared more towards Bailout Wars and not Obama and his administration. If this review was offensive, I’m sorry and we’ll just have to agree on disagreeing.

  3. It appears you changed the review, which is good. But again, the current or former administration have nothing to do with this game. And how exactly does the Nobel Prize
    fit in?
    Either party would have had the same result, that’s the nature of things.

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